The Devil and Miss Julia Jackson Page 7

  He nodded. “That snow turned to sleet for a spell. We were riding into it yesterday.”

  “Let me see.”

  Dev turned to face her. “Nothin’ to be done. It’ll be all right.”

  But her fingers skimmed the hard planes of his face gently, bringing what comfort she could with her light touch.

  He closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at her straight on. “Julie…”

  Her name on his lips was like a whispered prayer. Desire flamed through her…sharp, burning. This need was something she hadn’t known existed. The kiss they’d shared earlier had only made her want more of the same—and whatever else lay beyond a kiss. Whatever magic came between men and women…couples who loved…it was past time she captured that for herself.

  • ♥ •

  There was no mistaking the desire in Miss Julia Jackson’s beautiful blue eyes, staring up at him as she was now. His must be a darker mirror image.

  Do something! He mentally kicked himself, then immediately wondered, what? He was an honorable man. He would not take advantage of her. She was young…so innocent.

  She had asked him to marry her. The thought of her halting proposition wound around his heart and squeezed.

  It was, of course, the only thing to do—love, or not, between them. There must be right and wrong, despite everything else. Propriety must be maintained.

  Granted, the circumstances of the night had taken off like a runaway horse in a thunderstorm, but by the look on her face, she hadn’t forgotten—and neither had he.

  She stepped closer, and there was nothing more natural than to take her into his arms. Though he wore no shirt, neither of them hesitated.

  She laid her head on his shoulder as if it were a familiar gesture—one she did often. But her shyness told him more than words could ever say.

  “Julie—” He’d wanted to broach the subject of marriage. To make sure she knew he agreed. Marriage between them would be for the best. Her reputation would be ripped to shreds if it wasn’t done soon.

  But she lifted her head and put her lips to his, stealing his words and his intentions. The kiss she began was so tentative, so uncertain—and he knew it was because she was unsure of his desire, and not her own.

  She pulled away slightly, looking up at him as their lips parted.

  He had to say something while he had a brief moment of sanity. This woman had the power to steal all thought.

  “About us getting married—” he blurted, still holding her.

  She pulled back even further, saying, “Alex needs a doctor.”

  Puzzled, he watched her as she nervously sank her teeth into her lower lip.

  “He says you won’t go for one…not for him.”

  “What? Of course I will! I’d already planned to ride in at dawn. We’re taking the prisoners in, and—”

  “Go now, Dev. It would mean so much to him.”

  He regarded her for a few seconds in silence. What difference—hell, he wasn’t even going to ask! She had it in her mind that he needed to make a special trip in to town—

  “He believes he’s not that important to you.”

  Dev gave a short laugh.

  “I know it would be more practical to wait a few hours. But sometimes—practicality can be a vice. Sometimes, a person wants to know they’re cared for and valued—” She broke off, obviously aghast at the feelings she’d brought to light. “Just—just for being them,” she finally went on. “They—like to know they can be thought of as special—oh, Dev, I hope you’ll go.”

  “Why is it so important to you?

  She squared her shoulders. “You spoke of our marriage. I have to know what kind of a man I’ll be marrying…if I’ll be marrying. And…I promised Alex I’d go, if you didn’t.” She looked him intently. “And I mean to do just that.”

  “It means that much?” His breath halted at the look she gave him—determined, but not defiant.

  “It means everything.”

  He couldn’t keep the sudden worry from his expression. “Is he—worse than we thought?”

  She nodded. “His spirit is wounded.”

  Well…that Dev could certainly understand. He gave a deep sigh. He’d planned to sleep a couple of hours, but going for Doc Tanner now was clearly important as hell to Julie.

  He reached for his shirt and pulled it on again.

  “Oh, thank you, Dev!”

  He had to admit, to see that kind of joy and happiness in her eyes, he’d go without sleep another twenty-four hours if he had to.

  CHAPTER 9

  Julia breathed a sigh of relief as Dev rode out. Maybe this could be the beginning of a new relationship between him and his brother. If only Dev had seen that defeated wistfulness in Alex’s eyes—but no. He wouldn’t have recognized it for what it was.

  Dev had locked his emotions away for a very long time…she suspected from the time he was a child.

  Then, when little Heather had died…and Annella… She shook her head. The pain of those losses so close together would have been unimaginable. He’d had to close himself off to be able to put one foot in front of the other, just getting through one day to the next. To merely survive. There could be no joy in his life. If he allowed happiness in, he must allow the hurt—and that, he couldn’t do. Not alone, as he had been for so long.

  But things were about to change.

  She opened his office door and went inside, looking for a piece of paper and a pencil. It was time to make her list. Maybe when they took the prisoners into town, some of the other men could bring a bag of the things she needed to make this the best Christmas ever—and she had set her mind to it.

  They all needed a healthy dose of happiness in this house! That would be the best remedy for everything.

  • ♥ •

  On the short ride to town, Dev turned the conversations he’d had with Julie over in his mind. What did he know about her? She could be anyone, with any kind of a past…for all he knew, Lauralee could be Julie’s own daughter, not her niece, as she claimed. But it didn’t matter.

  Throughout all their interactions, she’d been thoughtful and caring of others before herself—even making excuses for Annella!

  Forgiving…even of someone who’d chosen to leave him and their baby…But Julie had made him consider the possibility that Annella’s death had not been by choice, as he’d wanted to believe in his all-consuming bitterness.

  And, of course, she asked for caring in the way he treated Alex. But…he supposed, he’d always seen the dark side of having a younger brother…unfairly, he knew, even as a rebellious youngster himself, and now, as an adult.

  He’d been alone, all his life. Even when he and Annella had married, there was a part of himself he held separate from her. Why? Was he so damaged by his father that he could never overcome this—this terrible distancing from everyone? Even from the younger brother who’d asked for nothing more than acceptance?

  With a sudden fierce cracking in his soul, the ice around his heart began to crumble, then fall, laying his emotions painfully bare.

  He didn’t deserve someone like Julie.

  It wasn’t that he was afraid he couldn’t love again that gave him pause—it was the realization he’d never understood what love even meant. At least, not the true love of a woman and a man—the sharing…the give and take of everyday routines that made life sweet.

  And now…now, he knew. Did Julie feel it too? This magic? Or had he already built walls between them?

  And what of Alex? Was that damage irreparable? Maybe not. If making a special trip to town for Doc Tanner was what it took—or even the first step—to fix it, he’d do it a thousand times over.

  Now, he wondered, what in the world could he do to redeem himself in Julie’s eyes? Because he was going to marry that woman. Tom had been right; with any luck, there would be wedding bells ringing before New Year’s.

  • ♥ •

  Doc Tanner was put out with Dev for not coming for him sooner. He grumble
d the entire way back to the Flying C.

  “Why, in God’s fair name, didn’t you come get me yesterday as soon as this happened?”

  “Doc, I—”

  “It’s not as if you’re out on the owlhoot trail and had no doctor to fetch! I was right there in Tamaha the whole time! And—”

  “Doc, I’ve been busy with—”

  “Busy! What in the cornbread hell is more important than seeing to your wounded brother?” The old man reared back in his saddle, giving Dev a cold stare.

  What excuse could he make? There was none. Even if he’d been occupied with going after the children, he could have sent someone else into town to fetch the doc. He’d been too complacent. Too angry, still. He hadn’t wanted to involve Doc Tanner in his life again. The last three things that had happened that involved the doctor had been disastrous—two deaths and the birth of a baby he wasn’t sure was even his own…

  He hadn’t realized how that gnawed at him—Jamie’s parentage. He supposed Jamie could be his son just as well as he could be Claude Mapleton’s. Could he ever accept him, truly, as his son, without knowing for certain?

  “I asked you a question, dammit, Devlin Campbell! Why didn’t you come—or send for me—before now? By God, if Alex dies, this is on your head!”

  Dev pulled Red up short, stopping and turning his full attention to the doctor. “As is everything else, Doctor Tanner!” he shouted back, at his wits’ end. “I’ve lost my daughter, my wife—I’m not even sure my son is my own—”

  Doc drew himself up stiffly in the saddle, eyes wide.

  Dev gave a low, sardonic chuckle. “You must be the only one in town who hadn’t heard of Annella’s visits from Claude Mapleton. The timing would be about…perfect.”

  Doc stared at him, hard, not saying anything for several moments. His lips compressed into a thin line below his gray mustache. Then, “I shouldn’t tell you. But you’re eaten up with bitterness and grief—maybe it’ll help you find the redemption you need. Annella wasn’t unfaithful to you. Claude Mapleton was a friend to her—nothing more.

  “Because of the bonds of doctor-patient confidentiality, I can’t tell you why or how I’m sure of that fact, but you can trust with a certainty, I know whereof I speak. Because of certain…conditions that exist…Claude was—dammit, Claude was only capable of being a friend to your wife. And she loved only you, Dev. If you trust me at all—oh, yes, I know you blame me for not being able to save your precious baby girl, son—I couldn’t revive her. She’d been gone too long. As for Annella, she had other health issues she begged me not to divulge. As a doctor, I had to abide by her wishes.”

  Dev’s heart clenched at this new information. He had to know what Doc was driving at. “What were they, Doc? She never said—”

  Doc sighed and waved him off. “It doesn’t matter, now.”

  “It matters to me, dammit!”

  “Heart trouble!” Doc flared. “She had…she had heart trouble. She was worried she wouldn’t carry Jamie to full term. She wanted to give you another child, Dev. She worried you’d be…lonely. With losing Heather, and Annella knowing she wasn’t long for this world herself—”

  Dev’s keening cry cut through the woods in the stillness of the early morning.

  How? How could she have kept that from him? Why hadn’t she told him?

  As if Doc had heard his thoughts, he said quietly, “Dev, you weren’t in your right mind after Heather passed—you wouldn’t have been able to bear the thought of another death coming. Annella wanted to focus on the birth.” He shook his head regretfully. “I’m surprised she lived through it, and lasted the few months she did…I believe she—she was trying her best to stay as long as possible for Jamie. To make sure he had a good start. And—for you.”

  “You had no right to keep this from me!” Dev sucked in a great lungful of air while his heart broke all over again.

  Doc shook his head again. “Maybe not, but—I didn’t understand—”

  “I thought she left us because of—of Heather.”

  “No. Not at all. Now, boy, make your peace with it. It does you nor the young’un any good to carry this all around inside. Some things—well, they just happen.” Doc started forward again, toward the ranch. “Let’s get movin’. You’ll have time to sort this all out in your mind, but I have a patient to see to.”

  • ♥ •

  Julia had finished her list, with some trepidation. It had been so long since she’d felt free to ask for anything. And these things weren’t just for her, but for their own little rag-tag newly-formed family…

  Was that what they’d become? She sat bedside Alex’s bed in a rocking chair, not allowing herself the luxury of sleep—not yet—though she felt as if she’d been awake for a solid week, now.

  And at any moment, the children would be awake. She should go start breakfast—and she would, as soon as the doctor arrived. But, she couldn’t leave Alex. Something told her he was maybe…a little afraid. And she didn’t want to leave him wounded and alone.

  What if…what if he was in worse condition than she knew? Or than what Pete had believed? Even with all Pete’s seasoned expertise of years of seeing to the men he might have missed something. Alex could have taken a turn for the worse that none of them were aware of.

  Julia leaned close to Alex, watching for any movement. He’d been asleep a long time…what if he never woke up?

  She shook her head. Why hadn’t she insisted on someone going for a doctor long before now? But—oh, that wasn’t her place! No matter what, she was still nothing more than a hired hand—the same as one of the ranch hands. Nothing more or less.

  Dev had agreed they should marry, but Julia had no illusions. He didn’t love her. He’d said so. How could he? She’d not been what he’d expected—but she did have experience in child rearing. And she’d not been dishonest in her response to his advertisement.

  Was he disappointed in her? He’d certainly not been warm in his initial greeting that first day. She remembered how he’d come through the door, stomping and cursing. How her heart had all but stopped at Lauralee’s brash dressing down of an adult—and Julia’s new employer…

  She’d worried he’d toss them out in the blizzard.

  But a kinship had developed between “Debbil” and Lauralee—oddly enough, over a newborn calf named Princess. The thought brought a smile to Julia’s lips.

  Maybe…maybe Lauralee would bring Dev some peace over the loss of his own precious Heather. Coming together in the makings of a family wasn’t going to be easy for any of them, but they had a good start, she felt.

  Just then, the door was pushed open and a man, obviously a doctor by the bag he carried, entered. Dev stepped in right behind him.

  “Doc, this is uh—my fiancée—Miss Julia Jackson,” Dev said hurriedly.

  Doc lifted a brow, turning to look at Dev, then took Julia’s hand. “Doctor James Tanner, Miss Jackson. I’m pleased to meet you.”

  “And you, as well, Doctor Tanner,” Julia responded, rising from her chair.

  Dev anxiously peered over Doc Tanner’s shoulder from a few steps away as the doctor bent over Alex.

  “Let’s go downstairs,” Julia suggested, moving to take his arm. “I have to get some breakfast started.”

  Dev nodded, rubbing a hand across his face. “This has been the longest night…” He glanced at her and she gave him a smile. “I bet you’re worn out, too.”

  “I’ve done nothing but cat-nap and rest—”

  “—and worry for everyone else,” he added, as he closed the door behind them, leaving Doctor Tanner with his patient.

  Something had changed. Julia felt it. His touch was more…possessive. The bitterness seemed to have disappeared, only to be replaced by lines of weariness, instead. What had happened in the short space of time since he’d left?

  “Got anything left to make for breakfast?”

  Before she could respond, he went on. “We’ll head for town here in a bit. Gotta take the prisone
rs in.”

  “I have my list…it’s long.”

  He laughed. “Good thing there are so many of us going. Still too treacherous for a wagon, but maybe we can pack what you need back on the horses.”

  She brightened. “That will be wonderful, Dev. Thank you.” What a relief to hear him offer, with no complaint. She breathed deep, knowing this Christmas was going to be special for everyone. But it was especially important for the children.

  “And…what would you like for Christmas, Julie?”

  His voice was rich, low, and somehow, his question was reassuring. It had been so long since she’d thought of wanting anything for herself—even necessities—that she struggled to think of how she should respond.

  “I—maybe some new pan grips for the kitchen—”

  Dev stood looking at her in shock. “Pan grips—you mean pot holders?”

  She nodded, and he laughed in disbelief. “Well, I tell you what, Miss Julia Jackson. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a man who buys his betrothed pan grips for Christmas.” He leveled a narrow look at her. “You better think of something other than…pan grips.” Shaking his head, he started for the door. “I’ll go gather eggs. At least, we’ll have those for breakfast if nothing else.” He grabbed his coat from the wall peg and shrugged into it. Just before he closed the door behind him, Julia heard him mutter, “Pan grips.”

  Asking for any kind of personal gift would mean…reciprocating. And she had nothing to give him. If only he knew how she’d had to scrimp, even with the money he’d sent her—to get here! She had a blessed five dollars left, saved back in case she and Lauralee hadn’t been able to make it to the Flying C and had to stay in town.

  How could she tell her soon-to-be husband that she needed—everything? She had bought one dress for herself and one for Lauralee. The first new dress Julia had had in over two years. And in those past two years, she’d embarrassingly filled out in certain places. And even grown taller. She was an excellent seamstress and had done all she could. The older dresses she possessed were tight, and shorter than was decent. But Julia supposed a man would take no notice of that. Dev would probably not realize that it wasn’t the fact that her clothing was woefully out of fashion, but that it was bordering indecency, that embarrassed her.